Every 10 minutes my Skype session gets cut off and it’s telling me to wait for the connection to be back. I have been waiting for connections to be back for a while now. But this week the message is speaking to me.
A month ago it was my birthday and almost nobody congratulated me. This hit me harder than I thought. I haven’t felt that invisible for a while. Were people forgetting about me or just not interested in me anymore now I’m far away? As I’m always reflecting this question and situation has been on my mind.
I realized that people treat me the way I treat them. And to be honest I have probably been the worst friend, sister or daughter in the last 6 months. My focus was on myself and not on something just as important: my people.
The people who have been with me through rough times and happy times. The people who raised, believed, trusted and guided me along my way before I went out in the world. I never forgot about them and never will forget them. The impact these people made and are still making in my life is the most beautiful thing in life.
They don’t deserve to be treated the way I treated them. They deserve to be worshiped and thanked everyday of the rest of my life. They are the ones that made me who I am. They are the ones that made me strong enough to do this – whatever this is – .
Looking back on the past 4 months I have been hiding myself and I’m not having the same contact with people that I used to have. For me getting away from the Netherlands was important to give me space and time to unwind and especially the time I’m spending under the Canarian sun has relaxed me. This is giving me new energy to face everything again. And this is the first challenge I’m facing in 2017.
I decided to not do new years resolutions anymore, because they never seem to work out for me. But I did decide to do my best in treating people the way I want to be treated. Because I don’t want them to disappear from my life and I from theirs.
This week I have been contacting everybody who is important to me to tell them this in person. It’s difficult to apologize for not treating them the right way, but it feels good to tell them that I want to change this and asking for their help.
So please wait, we’re connecting again.